


Static

by akiryu



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Velvet Room Attendant Akechi Goro, akira regrets a lot, goro doesnt remember, no beta either im lazy, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24278995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akiryu/pseuds/akiryu
Summary: What am I to you, really?
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 11
Kudos: 149





	Static

“Give him back!” He hears someone plead. “ _Please_. Give him back to me.” 

Goro’s eyes open as he looks around the Velvet Room, how does he know that that’s what it’s called? He isn’t entirely sure. Goro is hidden in the shadows, his presence unnoticed. His eyes dart towards the source of the noise, he watches as the inmate bangs against the cell bars and feels something akin to both nostalgia and deep setting regret crawling up on him. 

He sits up from the chair he didn’t even know he was sitting on, hesitantly walking towards the boy who seemed so familiar yet so distant at the same time. There’s an odd silence that falls on the room when Goro makes his appearance, a smile from Igor and an appalled stare from Lavenza. He keeps walking until he reaches him. The boy who looked like he had just seen a ghost.

“Hello,” he tests out, letting loose a small smile. The inmate visibly flinches at the sound. (or was it just at him in general?) “If you don’t mind me being blunt, do I know you?” 

Goro doesn’t understand why the boy in front of him looks close to tears. He doesn’t understand why he feels strange seeing the boy look anything other than calm and collected, but why does he feel that way? When has he ever seen this boy before this very moment?

“Apparently not,” he laughs dryly, and the sound of it hurts Goro more than it should. The boy turns towards Lavenza, “Is this some kind of sick joke?” he asks coldly. The blonde casts her gaze to the floor, trying to avoid the boy who’s eyes are filled with what Goro thinks is either anger or defeat (Who says you can’t be angry about losing?) She fiddles with her fingers as the blt continues to talk. “Let me be alone with him.”

Lavenza snaps her head back, “Prisoner, that isn’t wise. We don’t know what you’d do when alone with him!” Goro assumes that he is the him they’re referring to. 

The boy stares down Igor, “I did everything you wanted. I played your game, I refused the fake reality, I killed a fake god, I gave _him_ up. After today, I won’t even be able to come into the room anymore. Let me have this. I at least deserve that.”

The proprietor of the room just laughs, “Why not? It will be interesting,” He flashes an unsettling smile towards the two, snaps his fingers and both him and Lavenza are gone.

It was just the two of them.

Goro only looks at the boy when he feels his gloves being pulled off. They’re white, pristine and are fitted well, but they don’t feel right. The boy in front of him cradles his hand like it's the most precious thing in the world. He tugs off the white gloves with such care that Goro almost pulls away. He isn’t used to this and a faint feeling of awkwardness sits at the pit of his stomach.

A pair of black gloves that seem to materialize out of nowhere are slipped onto his hands. “What are you doing?” Goro asks, receiving no response from the focused boy. The worn out leather slide on easily and fit snugly around his fingers. The boy brings one hand up to his mouth and gives it a light kiss.

“Black always suited you better,” Goro stares at him. This is the first time he’s spoken since they were left alone. He likes the sound of his voice a lot more than he should. “Akira. I’m Akira. Do you really not...” He trails off, losing the composure he had been holding on to and looks away, unsure of what to say. His fingers continue to rub circles over Goro’s hand.

Goro reaches out his newly gloved hands and hesitantly takes off the boy’s fake glasses, (He stops for a second to wonder how he knew it was fake.) revealing grey eyes and long lashes. He thinks he can see the universe in them.

In an attempt to get the boy to look at him, Goro holds Akira’s face in his palms curiously. As soon as the two make eye contact, he feels his breath hitch. It shouldn’t feel as intimate as it does. 

Akira smiles longingly as he leans into his touch. Goro feels something scream inside him. He wants to know who he was before this very moment. He wants to know what his relationship to the boy was. He wants to know why he can’t remember ever seeing this boy in his life and why being here with him felt so right. 

Goro wants to know why Akira looks at him like he’s everything he’s ever wanted. 

“You seem sad,” Goro states the obvious, he drops his arms and slips his hands into the prisoner’s. “I wonder what our relationship was. Were we friends perhaps?”

The look Akira gives him makes him want to cry. The boy laughs, but it’s devoid of any humor and more pain filled than anything. “I don’t know either.” 

They sit there in silence and Goro tries to find the words to describe what he’s feeling. He’s about to speak up but is cut off before he can even get the words out.

“There was a guy, Before all of this. We met at a tv station while I was on a field trip. People called him the Detective Prince, but with the way the public treated him, he seemed more like a god. We had opposing standpoints on something and he called me his antithesis to his thesis. Said something about how he would need me for a synthesis or some shit,” Akira tightens his grip on Goro’s hands. “I wanted to tell him that I was pretty sure what he said didn’t sound right, but I didn’t know enough philosophy to talk back to him.”

“How intriguing,” Goro lets his thought slip out without realizing.

Akira closes his eyes as he chuckles, “That’s what he said too,” He opens his eyes and makes eye contact once again. Goro feels a chill run up his spine. “So we exchanged numbers. He took me to a jazz club, told me he had never taken anyone there before. We went to an aquarium, we played billiards together. He played his first game at the arcade with me. Once, I dressed him up as me so that he could escape from his fans - God, I wish I had a picture to show you, the look on his face was priceless.” And the boy lets out another laugh, but this one, he notes, is genuine and beautiful. It’s music to Goro’s ears.

“And then what happened?” He smiles, prompting Akira to continue. 

“We were rivals. He told me I was the one person he couldn’t lose to. He threw his stupid glove at me and we made a promise to duel again. ” Akira lets out a shaky breath before continuing. He's out of breath from how frantic he's talking, pushing out every word as fast as he can. “It’s funny, isn’t it? No matter how perfect people are for each other, no matter how badly you both want it, life always finds a way to fuck it up. Go- _He_ wasn’t a good person, but it doesn’t mean he deserved what he got. You can’t choose the cards you’re dealt with. ”

“What did he do?” Goro hums.

“Well for starters, he tried to kill me. It didn’t work obviously, my friends and I had this whole, elaborate plan set up to counter it. But the next time I saw him, we were kinda forced to fight to the death. The circumstances are complicated, so I’ll save you the details. But he gave his life for me and my team. I had to go home that day and act like it didn’t irk me the way everyone I knew seemed to be marveling at the thought of him being dead. I went on with my life, I hung out with my friends, went to festivals. I continued the meaningless, high school experience. But just because I didn’t say anything, doesn’t mean I liked the way people talked about him.”

Goro doesn’t say anything.

“And it’s not like I don’t get why nobody trusted him. I mean, he tried to kill me, for god’s sake. I’m not stupid. I used to feel the same way everyone else did. I hated that fake smile of his and his stupid briefcase. I thought he was obnoxious. He didn’t believe half of that justice shit he always spewed out." His words are harsh, but there's so much affection in his voice. "So what was I supposed to feel when he opened up to me? _Confided_ in me? He gave me a smile, a real one, and It felt like I had been waiting my entire life just to see it.”

“He sounds like quite the person,” Goro comments weakly. At the back of his mind, he wonders if there was any way to avoid all of this. To avoid hurting Akira.

“He is, or well, was. So imagine my fucking surprise on Christmas Eve when I see him. Alive and perfectly okay, and volunteering to take my spot as a key witness for Shido’s trial. Turns out we were put in a fake reality where all our ‘wishes’ were granted.” Fake reality? Trial? Wishes? _Shido_. Goro feels his stomach turn at the name. He realizes that with the way Akira is explaining, nobody would understand what he was getting at. But for some strange reason, he does. Goro understands.

“Isn’t it cruel? They dangled my one wish in front of me like a carrot on a stick, only to tell me that I had to reject it. _He_ told me to reject it. They brought him back to life and I had to lose him all over again. I asked him to stay and he told me he couldn’t live in a world like this,” Akira slumps down, looking more defeated than he should. He buries his face in his hands. “What was I supposed to do? Maybe I should have taken the offer. Maybe then he’d still be here.”

“No,” Akira looks shocked at the firmness of his voice. Goro’s pretty surprised himself. “He wouldn’t have wanted that. He wanted you, but not like this.”

Goro doesn’t know where the conviction in his words are coming from. He speaks these words like it’s the truth and for some goddamn reason, he feels like they really are.

“I did everything that was asked of me,” Akira says quietly. “I never complained once. I played my role as the selfless leader and gave up the one person i cared about the most. I would have done anything to make him stay. Just this once, I wanted to be selfish.” The boy’s mouth curls up in a cruel smile. “But we can’t have that, can we? I’m Joker, the Trickster, here to save humanity or whatever the fuck people want me to do. It doesn’t matter what I want because I’m just some puppet who dances to the tune of everyone but myself.”

Goro winces at the sharp tone the boy’s voice takes, giving Akira’s hands a squeeze to let the boy know he was paying attention.

”I don’t regret being the leader of the Phantom Thieves. I don’t regret meeting everyone and helping them out with their problems. I wouldn’t trade my friends for anything in the world. _God_ , I guess you could ever say i’m grateful for getting sent to Tokyo because if I hadn’t, I would have kept living my boring life as Akira Kurusu.” The boy stares at Goro, his eyes scan his face seemingly looking for some sort of reaction. Akira sighs when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for and drops his gaze. “I’m grateful for the life I got to live as Joker, but if it meant keeping him, I would have been happy being plain old Akira.”

Goro listens to the boy intently, waiting for him to finish before speaking up. “But you’ll forget about him, I’m sure of it. Time will pass and you’ll get over him. One day, you’ll realize that you don’t even remember his name anymore.” He tries to rationalize, but he feels his stomach drop at the thought of the boy actually forgetting.

“No, I fucking won’t,” Akira snaps. “I know you’re trying to help, but just don’t. I’m so tired of people telling me the same thing. I know i did the right thing, I know this is what he wanted…” He trails off before tugging on Goro’s hands, pulling him closer. “But it wasn’t what I wanted.”

They sit in silence. Goro tries to find the words to explain the feelings clawing at him. He has so many things he wants to ask the boy, so many things he wants to let out. His chest is constricted and he feels like he can't breathe

Goro wants to tell him that he wanted to stay. 

Silence.

“He loved you,” Goro finally says. Akira smiles bitterly.

“I know. I loved him too.”

They don’t say anything else because there is nothing left to say. 


End file.
